A relationship is based on a lot of effort, understanding, communication, trust and loyalty. The thinking patterns and the behavioral patterns of each person involved in the relationship also impacts the health of the relationship. Cognitive distortions are mental filters or biases which can impact the relationships we are in, the actions we take based on that, the decisions we make. This can further fuel anxiety and stress as well. As the brain processes a huge amount of information constantly, cognitive distortions help in creating the perspectives. This can further impact the people surrounding us and the relationship we share with them.
Relationship Therapist Aly Bullock addressed this and spoke of the ways by which cognitive distortions can impact relationships.
Polarised thinking: All or nothing thinking creates extremities in the thought process, where we seekl to see everything as either black or white. The grey does not exist and hence we are unable to settle for things that do not fall into the categories set in the mind by us.
Negative mental filter: In this type of cognitive distortion, we train the mind to see everything as a negative consequence. We start to not appreciate the things or the people around us and we feel that we are being taken advantage of.
Overgeneralisation: when we see one incident and start to assume that all incidents following the same with be same – that is overgeneralisation and it can kill a relationship or make it extremely toxic.
Fortune telling: often we overthink so much that we assume the worst for a given situation. This can further impact the words we use or the actions we take.
Personalisation: We base everything happening to be somehow related to us. Hence, we hold ourselves accountable or being a victim of a situation. This can be a very draining and frustrating feeling.